The Abstract Thief

Picture credit: Pinterest 

By Prevail Otobo

One of the easiest ways to lose your peace is by comparing yourself with others. It doesn’t happen suddenly; it sneaks in subtly. You see someone post something ; a new job, a soft-life vacation, a happy relationship or even a good CGPA and before you know it, your heart starts to race a little. You tell yourself you’re just happy for them (which maybe you are), but somewhere in that same heart, a small voice whispers, “When will it be my turn?”, “What am I doing wrong?” “Am I not putting in the work?’’

You switch off your data to face the real world, but that voice follows you, whispering insignificance. Suddenly, all the things you were once proud of start to feel insignificant. That assignment you finished? Not enough. That new outfit you struggled to saved up for suddenly looks basic, “it wasn't even that expensive after all, you’re just poor”, you say it yourself. You start to wonder if you’re even doing life right at all, questioning the reason behind your existence. 

The funny part is, you’re not lazy, you're not cursed, you're not doing anything wrong. You’re trying your best. You show up every day, you push yourself, you stay consistent. But it’s like the world moves faster than you. One scroll through social media and everyone seems to be moving up while you’re still trying to find your step. It’s exhausting, that silent pressure to measure up, to feel among. 

The thing about comparison is that it doesn’t always feel toxic at first. Sometimes it feels like motivation, until it starts to steal your joy. You begin to forget how far you’ve come because you’re too focused on how far someone else has gone. You start to chase their pace and lose your rhythm.

But the truth is, most people are showing you their highlight reel, not their behind-the-scenes. They won’t post about the nights they cried or the things they failed at before they succeeded. They’ll post the moment everything came together, not the long, messy middle that got them there. And yet, you sit there judging your life against something that’s only half the story.

It’s not fair to yourself and you know. 

We all have different timelines. All flowers bloom at different times but does that make them less of their kind? No. It doesn't make them less lovely. Some people bloom early, some later. Some people’s paths are straight, others take a few turns before they reach the same destination. But somehow, we’ve convinced ourselves that speed equals success which is not true. Meanwhile, life isn’t a race. It’s a journey to purpose fulfilment and everyone’s pace is different.

I’ve learned that comparison is one of the quickest ways to drain gratitude. It blinds you from seeing what’s already good in your life. You start to downplay your blessings because they don’t look loud enough, your eyes are blind to the fact that you didn't have any carry overs this session simply because you saw someone end the session with the CGPA of your dreams. You have forgotten how scared you were of failing that particular course, you've forgotten that the things you have now are the things you were once on your knees praying sincerely for. Sometimes, you just need to pause and take a deep breathe. You’re not late. You’re not behind. You’re not stuck. You’re just on your own timeline and that’s okay. When your season comes, it will make sense why you had to wait.

Don't be lost in everyone’s world that you forget your own story is still being written. You might not be where you want to be yet, but that doesn’t mean you’re not growing. Every small step counts, even the slow ones. Especially the slow ones.

Because the truth is, there will always be someone doing “better”, someone richer, finer, faster, or more put-together, but if you keep chasing that kind of “better,” you’ll never feel like enough, you'll only feel drained and exhausted. There’s freedom in staying in your lane and clapping for others without questioning your own progress or their own progress.

The only person you should really be comparing yourself to is who you were yesterday. Are you learning? Are you growing? Are you kinder to yourself? Are you improving? That’s what truly matters.

So breathe. Stop refreshing the feed to measure your worth. The people you’re comparing yourself to probably have their own battles you can’t see. And maybe, just maybe, someone out there is also looking at you and thinking you’ve got it all together.

Your journey is valid. Your pace is fine. And when it’s your turn, it will all add up beautifully, no pressure, no rush, because honestly, comparison steals joy faster than failure ever will.