AN EYE FOR AN EYE, SOME HURT FOR HURT

 

By OMODELE Goodness

You are not a good person. Maybe you don't know it. But I'll tell it to your face, you are quite bad..

All around the streets we live in, the internet we are exposed to and the media we consume, a common gospel is preached, subtly or unknowingly, times without number yet unapologetically- The gospel of Hurt.

‘In a selfish world the selfish succeed’ is our living slogan. All we do is based on how we feel. We think so highly of ourselves that we don't care if our luxury is at the expense of another's convenience. Our meat is all that matters; whether it poisons our neighbour, is none of our concern. So far as it makes us feel better, we have the approval from the media to hurt people.

Take a look around you, we stab ourselves in uncountable and  unfathomable ways you can think of. Hurt is the agenda of the day, hurt is the motive for our actions, hurt is the justification for our ill manners, hurt is the source of our income and hurt is the surest way to scale the ladder.

 

Perhaps if you come from a nice background, you've been taught to speak up when you are hurt, ‘let the party know how you feel!’ has been so much engraved into our heart that you use that as an excuse to scold, yell at others at every slight inconvenience, and every mistake made - little or big.

Per adventure you go overboard to the point of insulting the other party, you blame it on hormones, birth position, situations,  trauma, hurt of the past without uttering a single apology. Am I desperate for an apology? No, feel me here.

Let's say you come from a hot headed family ( No apologies for that by the way), where you've been trained to adopt the slogan of  a computer ‘Garbage In, Garbage Out.’

You go a bit higher to show how hurt you are. You insult, you slap, you throw tantrums, you give off attitude, you snub to show that two can play the game, to display how intolerable you are for nonsense. But beyond this your heart is never open to clear any misunderstanding, your shoulders are never flexible to apologize for your misdeeds and your pride is allergic to speaking good of anyone you have wrongly labelled. Anyone in your  ‘To-Deal- With’note is an eternal prey in your hands, your forever bully. All for what? All because of what exactly? Because you've been offended as per the god of wrath that you are. You neglect the fact you are like dust, here today, gone tomorrow, flesh and blood with no guarantee of rosiness, you thrust your knife at everything that comes your way.

 

Let's say you have been built in a way that adopts silence as a weapon, you keep your distance, you nurture your pain, you talk behind never with the boldness to confront, you eventually get labelled as a carrier of a toxic atmosphere, a hostile fellow, a cold stone like domino ice cream.

Do you attack? No. Are you patient? Maybe. Are you killing yourself? Yes. This time the image of the offender is blackened with no remedy for redemption, if you get to the last straw, your comeback is quite deadly, sometimes gravely with fingers pointed at you for not speaking up sooner. If not that, the heaviness of hurt will weigh upon your heart that nothing in life will feel good, opportunities for gracious relationships will be turned down by your paranoia cautiousness. And the worst part is, no one will ever understand that pang in your heart leaving you with two options: To magically get rid of it or just live your life with it.

In summary, whether our reaction is based on previous or recent offense, we stab both the innocent and guilty, ourselves included, with the knife that stabbed us.

We hurt others because we've been hurt, and it's an acceptable and justifiable reason for us to go scot free. I pity where we are going with this lifestyle of ours. Why do we keep adding up to the statistics  of hurt and unstable people when we can carry out little acts of kindness that heal?

We claim boys are more united, more friendly with each other and with ladies, while less problematic and complex than we are. Yet we are  terrible with each other. When strong  female friendships are rare, why won't ladies fall victim to bad guys that feed on ladies' desperation for real connection? Why won't there be misunderstandings and inappropriate feelings on either's path  when girls get too comfortable with guys? Why won't a girl who's surrounded by a lot of guy friends be considered a flirt or pick me girl by other girls?

What happened to ‘sisters are there for each other’? What happened to being genuinely happy for a ladies success, helping each other, giving compliments to each other, cooking with each other, giving to each other, smiling to each other,gisting with each other, crying with each other, praying for each other and with each other, greeting each other, praising  each other in absence and presence, correcting each other and speaking up maturely when you're hurt or offended, what happened to recommending each other for success opportunities. 

Consider this a rant, or a desperate plea or a charge. I'll chant this out, being hurt in the past or present is not a reason to be terrible to another person. Don't kill the  beautiful, cute and innocent little actions that brightens our hearts and day. Bring back the courteous virtues that make a woman beautiful and sweet, and stop the immature attitude you display in the name of  being hurt.

Stop using hurt as an excuse to be bad, instead start being the reason someone heals.