Saying 'No'

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By OMODELE Goodness.

Rejecting the request of a family member, friend, colleague or a course mate can be hard especially if you're the type of person who tries all things possible to avoid conflict. As a result of this, you find yourself saying yes to every request being made to you whether or not they align with your values or whether you're uncomfortable.

But it's important to know that saying ‘no’ doesn't make you a selfish or an unkind person, neither does it necessarily mean causing damage to your relationship. However, saying no helps you prioritize your self care and reduce your stress level.

DIFFERENT REASONS WHY SAYING NO SEEMS DIFFICULT

Research shows that many people find it hard to say "no" because they were raised to always be polite and helpful. As a result, saying no can feel rude or selfish, even though we all have limits and can’t help everyone all the time.

Sometimes, people are afraid of saying no because they feel it will make them look like or seem like being incapable of handling a task. They might also worry about disappointing others or hurting their relationships. And in some cases, they fear they’ll miss out on good opportunities or fun experiences if they say no.

The truth is, saying no is an important part of taking care of ourselves. It’s a way to protect our energy, respect our boundaries, and stay healthy mentally and emotionally.

WHY SAYING NO IS IMPORTANT

Learning to say "no" is more than just setting boundaries, it's a way of showing respect and care for yourself.

When you always say yes to others while ignoring your own needs, you're sending a message that your time, energy, and wellbeing doesn't really matter much to you. Rather, saying NO means you value yourself and understand that your energy is limited and worth protecting.

It also helps shape better relationships.

When you clearly communicate your limits, you're teaching people how to treat you with respect. You show them that you won’t accept from them any express-behavior that will hurt you or bruise your esteem. This builds healthier, more honest relationships where everyone feels valued.

Saying no helps reduce resentment. Saying yes when you really wanted to say no, induces  resentment towards who made the request, in the long run. As simple as this two lettered word is, it can protect the health of a relationship.

Most importantly, saying no is a way to take care of yourself.

 It means you’re not letting the pressure to always please others control your life. You’re putting your own wellbeing first — and that’s not selfish, it’s necessary. Saying no is a way to remind yourself that your needs, your voice, and your happiness truly matters. 

WHEN TO SAY ‘NO’

Saying no would be a great decision if:  the request doesn't support your goals, if it doesn't align with your values, if there are challenges that will make things more difficult, if it would take away the time and energy you will need for doing something more important to you, if it would hurt your mental well being  and if it would contribute to your stress or burn out. 

Then it definitely is the best answer to give!

HOW TO SAY NO POLITELY.

Simple Ways to Say "No" Politely:

Be clear and firm: Say no in a respectful but confident way. You don’t need to over-apologize or sound unsure.

Show appreciation: Thank the person for thinking of you, even if you can’t help.

Give a reason (if needed): You’re not required to explain yourself, but a short, honest reason can be helpful.

Suggest another option: If possible, offer another time, person, or solution. This shows you still care.

Conclusion 

Learning to say no helps you set healthy boundaries, put your wellbeing first, and stop the constant urge to please everyone. It might feel hard at first, but with time, you’ll create a more balanced, peaceful life for yourself.