The Hurdles of Adulthood

By: Sanni Juliet Oluwadarapupo

“I am so scared. I am lost. What am I going to do?” Bose said, taking a heavy sigh. Her voice was barely audible, and tears threatened to roll down her face, tracing a path to her chest. She sat on the cold floor, her back resting against the wall beside the door of her room, staring blankly at the plain wall opposite her.

Bose was a beautiful 19-year-old, just weeks away from turning 20. She had recently gained admission to study Law at the University of Ibadan, a dream that had seemed far away not long ago. Yet, as her milestone birthday approached, she found herself overcome with anxiety. The number 20 brought anxiety along, filled with expectations and uncertainties.

“I’ll be 20 soon. I don’t think I’m ready for this,” she murmured. “It’s a lot to take in. Before you know it, I’ll be 25, then 30, and people will start asking about marriage. Marriage! Can you imagine? I’m still living with my parents, crying out loud. I haven’t achieved anything. I’m not even financially independent. The small change I make isn’t enough to take care of me. Oh no, this wasn’t how I planned my life at all,” she whispered, her voice tinged with despair.

Countless thoughts raced through her mind, like a train speeding with no brakes. She felt as if she were suffocating under the weight of her worries. “My mates that l finished secondary school with are almost done with university while some are abroad and here, I am, just starting 100 level at 20. Is this even the right time to enter school? Nawa for this my life ooo,” she mumbled, her voice shaky.

“If my schoolmates were to organise a reunion, would I even go? What would I say when they ask, ‘What are you doing now?’ I don’t think I can face that. And before you know it, the marriage questions will start rolling in. In this part of the world, if you’re a woman and not married by 30, it’s like you’re in spiritual warfare. Once you’re married, the next expectation is a child and guess what? Everything falls back on the woman. Am I overthinking the future, or is it just coming at me too fast? This is too much for me to handle. I can’t breathe. What am I going to do?” she said, tears streaming down her face.

Her thoughts drifted to her childhood. A bittersweet smile crossed her lips as she remembered simpler times when she ran around in the rain, played with sand, and played without care. Back then, she didn’t have to worry about food or responsibilities. Her parents were not wealthy, but they always made sure her needs were met.

While lost in thought, her mother entered the room quietly and sat on her bed. She had been there for nearly 30 minutes, watching her daughter silently. Bose was so engrossed in her emotions that she hadn’t noticed.

“Adeleke Bose! Adeleke Bose! Adeleke Bose!” her mother’s voice rang out, pulling Bose back to reality.

“Ye…yes, ma!” Bose stammered, startled as if caught cheating in an exam. “Mummy, you scared me!”

“Omo yi, ma kpa mi jor! I’ve been calling you from the sitting room, but you didn’t answer. I decided to check on you and find you like this. You didn’t even know when I entered. Come here and sit beside me,” her mother said, patting the spot next to her.

Bose stood up, wiping her face as she moved slowly toward her mother, her steps uneven like someone learning to walk.

“Bose, I know what you’re thinking,” her mother began, wrapping an arm around her daughter’s shoulders. “Why are you stressing over things you can’t control? So, what if your mates are ahead of you? So, what if this isn’t where you thought you’d be at this age? Delay is not denial.”

“But I’m scared, Mum,” Bose admitted, her voice trembling.

“It’s natural to feel scared when you’re starting a new phase of life,” her mother replied gently. “It’s our default setting as humans. But don’t let that fear paralyse you. If you’re doing what’s right, you have nothing to worry about. This adulthood, embrace it, my daughter. Enjoy it. Yes, no one knows what the future holds except God, which is why you must hold on to Him. He will guide you. Live in the moment and cherish every phase of your life because you won’t get to live it again.”

Her mother’s words felt like a warm embrace, soothing Bose’s troubled heart.

“Now clean up and help me get something down the street,” her mother added with a playful grin. “Or should I bring you a bucket to continue crying?”

Bose chuckled, the weight in her chest lifting ever so slightly. “I’ll go, ma. Thank you. What would I do without you?” she said softly.

“Nothing,” her mother replied, laughing as she watched her daughter leave with a smile and a glimmer of h

ope in her eyes.