How Nigerian Students Master the Art of Suffering and Smiling

By: Agarah Bibisinuoluwa

 

Welcome to the University of Unstoppable Stress, where we produce not just graduates but legends—students forged in the furnace of relentless lectures, sky-high expectations, and, of course, a one-week semester break. After all, why give tired, overworked students the luxury of proper rest when you can simply toss them back into the grind? Who needs recovery when you have the Nigerian spirit?

 

Did you think that finishing exams meant a break? Absolutely not. The break is nothing more than a seven-day hallucination. You might be tempted to go home, but don’t bother unpacking your bags; your next semester starts before you recover from the last one.  

 

Now, let’s talk about mental health. Who needs therapy when you have prayers, right? Feeling overwhelmed? Just recite Psalm 23 and soldier on. Exhausted? "God will not give you more than you can bear," they say, conveniently ignoring the fact that your body and your mind are screaming for help.  

Financial struggles are another hallmark of this prestigious institution. Tuition has become more and more difficult to afford, but who cares about that when a loaf of bread costs almost four times what it cost last session? Nutrition is a luxury most students can’t afford. Noodles and garri are the real MVPs, helping you stay alive just enough to attend classes and turn in your assignments; rinse and repeat...

 

The true masterpiece of this system is the schedule. You finish exams in late October and start a new semester in early November. Forget family time or mental reset; the semester waits for no one. The academic calendar is a sprint, not a marathon. While students in other countries use breaks to rest or pursue internships, you’ll be catching up on lectures you missed during the last strike.  

 

Some Nigerians, especially the ones in federal universities, have embraced a simple philosophy: stress builds character. Sure, you might be crying yourself to sleep at night, but doesn’t that just make you stronger?   

 

Survival Tips for the Aspiring Graduate  

1. Embrace the struggle: Accept that suffering is part of the process. Crying during study sessions is normal.

2. Fake it till you make it: Walk into every lecture like you are a professor, even if your GPA is crying for mercy. Bonus points if you arrive 45 minutes into the lecture.

3. Be demure, be mindful: Dodge every attempt to label you as a smart student. Pass that title to your colleagues. Hail them at the library, in class and at cafeterias. Whatever you do, before any test/exam, never acknowledge you have studied.

4. Eat strategically: Stretch one cup of garri over three meals and make noodles your Sunday Special.

 

 

Even after surviving all this, you’re expected to graduate, get a job and immediately solve Nigeria’s problems. No pressure!  So, to every Nigerian student out there, take heart. You’re not just enduring a system; you’re earning a badge of honour. Someday, when you sit in your air-conditioned office (or let’s be real, your generator-powered cubicle).