LOST AGAIN

By Olufunmilola Oludare

Photo Credit: Pexels

 

Make a difference or…No! I should stay on the fence

I’d stretch for more, and be my best, I can’t settle for less

Just like a strong boxer, I’m always on the part of defence

I give it my all, every day; at my doorstep I see success

But, to what end?  I ask! I can’t even feel my presence

The voices in my head rumble, they renew my weakness

I want to be this tall, pretty, wild and full of confidence

Again and again, I cower, into the shadows, I must confess

This race is for the swift, I just can’t run through, it’s intense

I try every day, but I can’t speak up, I just lay there, in loneliness

Every time, I keep explaining, cho cho cho, no evidence

They say, “Speak up”, but my voice is gone, no more boldness

When does this end? Say the truth, have some conscience!

At the end of the tunnel, I can see no light, just darkness

I fight every day, to live, to show up, to stay in prominence

Is it even worth it, living and dying, life is worthless

I can’t wear heels, I can’t slay suits or skirts, it’s no pretense

I’m too scared of murder, I can’t even kill my soreness

They say “You’d be fine, you’d pull Through” but it’s of no essence

If I leave tomorrow, don’t forget my long-gone warmness

I’d do my bits, stretch my hand and try my best to find a new resurgence

Don’t envy me, I have nothing now, I’m just here, full of coldness

Perhaps, one day, I’ll be back here, to stage an emergence

Or maybe I’ll never find my way back, forever lost in hopelessness