THE EPIC TALE OF KITCHEN, TOILET AND BATHROOM: THE DEATH OF SANITY AND SANITATION

By Olufunmilola oludare

Picture credit: Vanguard news

The director, believing passionately in romantic relationships, unending friendships, and unspoken bonds, chose the cast and made perfect pairs out of them. Without paying any attention to the crew and because he was confident in his vision and mastery of the task, he never bothered to ask about the cast's or crew's preferences. Kitchen entered the scene, and what seemed to be a utopia for everyone turned out to be the chaos of a lifetime.  

Toilet and Bathroom were the inseparable “5 & 6”; you could call them the tree branches joined at the hip; they had everything in common. The crew did not have it any different working with them; the work rate was almost magical. However, the director grew concerned about their relationship, feeling like it was becoming occultic. So, he made Kitchen the third wheel, disregarding the crew’s attention, to dilute their chemistry. Kitchen objected several times, but the director did not entertain his displeasure, so he reluctantly accepted the arrangement. The director remained oblivious to this complicated situation, leaving the cast and crew trapped in a toxic relationship.  

Connecting the same rationale behind building plans with every architect would start another war of stereotypes. However, this cannot be said of the architects responsible for the building plans of hostels in UI, so it would not be incredible to liken them to the director in the first paragraph. The cast is clear as crystal; the crew are the students and every user of sanitary facilities and kitchens in UI. If the director destroyed the foundational plans, what could the crew have done about it? Perhaps embody the same personality as the director and create more dysfunctional systems. It is even easier to blame others for the deplorable state of hall facilities rather than try to play the director. If the facilities are so bad, why try to repair them when you can ignore or worsen the condition? After all, it is not your fault that someone used the toilet and did not flush afterwards. If you use the same toilet and don’t flush, how are you the problem?  

 

Your room towers above the 8th floor, and it is difficult to descend with your bucket of liquid misuse for disposal, so you dump it in the kitchen sink instead since you’re not expected to go through so much stress to dispose of waste. Accolades also to individuals who defy the norm and never stay on either side of the bias. If others misuse the kitchens and toilets so much that they become unusable, the passages and quadrangles can equally be utilised to reduce people in the kitchen and toilet discussion. The sanitation workers can also deal with cleaning up after you. You mean you paid 60,000 for accommodation in this economy and you cannot empty your bowels on the corridor? It can’t be.  

 

Defaulters will get fined for breaking the rules, but they are reviving sanitation. If you cook in your room to avoid littering the kitchen, you have done wonderfully well, and be awarded for it. But if your roommate happens to be an asthma patient, you stand a chance of visiting a correctional centre. Decide whose life you want to save: your roommate’s or sanitation’s.  

 

After your struggles in and out of these facilities, the school management still expects you to be sane, sifting through and unscathed with the trauma of poor hygiene and gross misuse of facilities. It doesn’t work that way; this is Nigeria, and the only way to feel better from the pain caused to you is to take it out on another person. If this looks like advice, you might as well take it. Do not try to salvage the situation since you’re not the messiah; diligently blow out the lights of sanity and avail sanitation for the rest of death.