SHATTERED KINDNESS

by Abraham Favour Olohigbe

 In the shadow of my mother’s unending kindness lies a tale of unintended consequences. I am not saying that being nice isn’t right, but being too nice can invoke some negative consequences. My mom’s kindness is the reason my siblings and I are back early from school because we didn’t pay our fees. This narrative begins with an encounter with my father which led to her falling in love. 

My father was assigned to Plateau to serve as an NYSC corp member. Unfortunately, my naive mother who was eighteen at the time fell in love with him and soon enough, she was pregnant. To make matters worse, her father was conservative and he made sure they got married and cut off ties with her. My father on the other hand came from a very poor home and was the only one his family had hope in to take them out of poverty. The worst news was that he had extra baggage there was now a very slim chance of his family’s financial position getting better. He took her back to his village with him in Ondo. For the first time in my mother’s life, she lived in a house made out of mud. Things worsened when she started to be at the receiving end when he flared up. He would always beat her to the point where she saw the messenger of death. However, my mother refused to leave this man. At the time, she already had Benedict, Vivian and I. And to her, the best decision she would ever make for us is to stay with the father of her children.

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On a faithful day, my dad’s mom couldn’t take it anymore. She lied to my mom that she wanted us all to go to town to get things. When we got there, she put us on a bus straight to Plateau, to live with our grandfather. By the time she realized that we were on our way to her homeland, it was already too late. We got home, and it took a while before her father finally accepted us. He later set up a business for her. She was into the fruit business. As time went on, it flourished and she made productions for big companies that were into juice making. But this was just the calm before the storm.

      Six years down the line, my dad came to Plateau in an act to get her forgiveness and make peace with his family. My mom took him back, and he was nice for about two years that was when the beatings started again. I got to know later that my mom had given him all her passwords to her accounts and even some vital documents. He left Mama without a penny but her house. My mother didn't know where to start and her family won’t even lend a hand. Her mother couldn't help but give her a little amount of money from time to time but that can’t sustain us.

        My father left my mother penny less just three months ago, and we are still grappling with the aftermath of his departure. I have pledged not to go through the same ordeal to love someone to the extent of being completely vulnerable to them. It’ll be hard to view all men in a different light and I might end up not getting married in the future. Though the journey ahead may be tough, the shattered kindness of my mother becomes a lesson for me to be resilient in a world that can be cruel.