Gender equality: Bargaining with stereotypes

 

It is still the month of March so we believe it is okay to congratulate the ladies in the house on another International Women's Day celebrated.

In the spirit of celebrating women and gender equality, it is important to discuss stereotypes and the age-long societal reactions to issues regarding both genders.

Stereotyping genders might not look like a big deal but it is the very thing that ridicules and foils the logic behind gender equality. Gender equality in our society has come across in various situations as merely a term without attitudinal backing. 

Addressing gender equality as it truly implies will not only cause friction in various quarters of the world system but will also take away the grace that has been given to both genders in different and particular situations. We all know that there are situations that have favoured the female gender over the male and vice-versa.

The European Institute of Gender Equality defines Gender Equality as a term that infers that the interests, needs, and priorities of both women and men are taken into consideration. Understanding gender equality through the lens this definition gives brings on us the realization that the term is rather difficult to practice and sometimes plays on our senses. This is so because stereotypes and stereotyping have made it almost impossible to take the interests and needs of both genders into consideration rightfully and simultaneously.

Case Scenarios

The society will excuse a woman displaying acts of violence on a man and also excuse the polygamous married man because women are the weaker vessels and men are naturally polygamous. The society will excuse the housewife and not the househusband because the man is supposed to be the one with the 6 to 6 job. The society will excuse the domineering man but not the domineering woman because the woman is supposed to be in subjection. The society will applaud the single father and taunt the single mother because the single father is responsible while the single mother is loose. The society will wink at the tomboy but bully the effeminate men because a man should be manly and a woman can be whatever, perhaps.

A woman will work twice as hard in an industry or establishment because some people still believe she should be in the kitchen. A man is questioned and charged for the reason of his tears while a woman is consoled because crying is not for men. We should inquire about the rationale behind objectifying and sexualizing women; would the world be sane if we began objectifying men? There is likely to be an immediate judgment passed on a male rapist but investigations and judgement on a female rapist seldom happen - this has begotten the recent evil that is women accusing men falsely of rape and getting away with it because before the truth is revealed, the man has probably used half of his jail term.

A divorced man has no issues and can move on with his life without theories but a divorced woman loses respect and might not have major assignments committed to her because "she that cannot manage her home cannot manage a team and deliver adequately; also, what image is she projecting to the young ones?"

Sense and Sensibility?

The society will always react to situations as it appeals to their senses. We usually do not think things through but act on the first reaction or thought our mind conjures. We have normalized sentiments, however imbalanced they might be sometimes. Despite conferences and programs put together to enlighten minds, we still fall victim to our sensibility or otherwise called, sensitivity and put away rational thinking because stereotypes are status quo and we usually do not see it until the action is long done. If it does not apply to the sixth sense of the general public, it is distasteful and should be eschewed immediately. Any other thing asides from the accepted norm does not apply to common sense and so, is not sensible; the reason why a woman cannot have two husbands but a man can have four wives, and also the reason why the man must not be seen changing the diapers and preparing dinner while the woman is chasing the papers. Even the writer has a hard time aligning the above scenario with her sensibility. These things will forever be weird till we work on our mindset.

We are walking customs

Every part of the world is ruled by culture, and each one of us is an example of the cultural rules or beliefs of our locality. We can easily determine our nationality by our mannerisms, speech, and general outlook on life and issues. Finding a way around dealing with stereotype and its dangers is a herculean task because we are the stereotypes. We have digested what is believed to be appropriate and we have become living examples of stereotypes. A want, itch, or desire to break out of that mould makes an individual abnormal. So, we are the customs, and this is not hard to believe because the next generation will not have many cultural practices to read about on paper but they will know all about culture and what is normal through what they see in and about us.

So how do we bargain?

This writer does not have enough wisdom to change and provide solutions for a challenge that has transcended generations. But individual mind reformations and the deliberate efforts to think before saying a word - whether to criticize or praise - would go a long way in creating a space where both genders can break through the bondage of gender roles and live according to individual preferences and capacities. 

Lastly, you must practice what you preach. So peradventure, you are about to take an action, think of how it would be if the opposite gender did the same, if it will not produce the exact response you are likely to get, drop it - all in the spirit of gender equality and because we are all advocates.

(I hope my ladies who would not hesitate to slap a guy are taking notes).