Excerpts from Chief Elénuloójoyè's Masterclass

KCO

You are in the wrong if your mentor is not a man of popular votes and social repute like Chief Elénuloójoyè. If he is your mentor and you do not act like him, you are an unfruitful fig tree; you are one week away from receiving a curse. I just said I should tell you sha. You must speak like him - be loud, insult your enemies; walk like him - make sure the people know somebody is passing; style your hair like him - like a comrade; and most importantly, fault the constitution - na who get mouth be Chief.

For those of you who do not know Chief Elénuloójoyè, well, I will help you with a brief introduction.

Chief Elénuloójoyè is a popular royalty loved by many. Many women in their prime and those who just left their mother's breast milk have expressed their affection and undying love for him on the famous anonymous app. What does that tell you? He is a spec abi? Exactly. 

He is a man of the people and has contributed greatly to the populace. The people are addicted to his projects because they are just that good. He has many faceless blackmailers but he is OUR man. Anybody apart from Chief Elénuloójoyè is self-acclaimed whatnot so he does not let them kill his vibes. 

So let me bring you the details you missed from his just concluded masterclass (please, next time, try to be there).

• If anybody questions you, before you do any other thing, speak big grammar. Somebody, read out the meaning of Parochial.

• Make sure you remind people of who you are. Honestly, human beings forget details. To overcome this challenge, carry a copy of your citation wherever you go. ( I know, He is over-wise).

• Talking of over-wise: no one should be more honourable than you so decide the law to abide by. Do not be pressured to follow the dictates of mere mortals. You are wiser.

• You have many haters so that means some people have no other job than to project you in a bad light and bring you down. You must not let these people get to you, take a dose of clap-backs daily.  

• Always be ready to report your haters to the police and sue them accordingly. Get a lawyer if you do not have one. The reason being, the haters of Chief Elénuloójoyè would soon commit libel against you too as his protégé. Be prepared, they must not win.

• Your enemies lack initiative and technical know-how. You must be ready to provide a way forward for them at all times. Advise them to stop scaremongering and instead, focus on becoming good people.

• When it seems your enemies have caught up with you, create other channels ( not less than 10) to reach out to your fans and continue to succeed.

Side note but very important: Always carry a dictionary with you. You might need to write a long letter to your enemies, fans, and the general public and you will need to add one or two vocabularies for flavour.

If you do these things,  how e no go loud?